Thursday, November 1, 2012

Halloween at Casa Jen

Halloween is not one of my favorite holidays, mostly because I don't like people knocking on my door. I especially hate it when those people want something from me. But because I have children, I have to suck it up and smile as I contribute to the nation's obesity and dental hygiene crises. So I grudgingly dumped our overpriced bags of chocolate-covered, edible feelings into a plastic bowl and flipped on the porch light. It was rainy and cold, so rather than sit in the driveway with an ice-cold beer like I usually do, I hunkered down with my laptop on the couch.

Except that people in my neighborhood either somehow know about my disdain for solicitors (could it be the "No Solicitors" sign on my door?), or they are very, very stupid. My "No Solicitors" sign is very small, so it cannot be read from the sidewalk. But you know what can be seen from the sidewalk? The porch light, the pumpkins on the stoop, and the light pouring out from between the WIDE OPEN living room curtains.

And yet, families passed by my well-lit and clearly occupied house without even glancing up. It was baffling. I watched group after group skip right on by. Finally, when I heard a father tell his kids as they headed up my driveway that, "They're not home!", I opened the door and asked what I was doing wrong. The father looked confused, shocked, even, to see me.


So I went down to the computer and made a huge "WE HAVE CANDY" sign, which I posted in the front window. Traffic picked up.

Anyway, during all this stOOpidness, Husband was walking around with Bear and Bug. We did NOT have a bucket for Bug because I think collecting candy "for the baby" is really stupid and annoying and I refuse to do it. If you are legitimately giving your fourteen month-old Starburst, punch yourself in the face. If you're collecting for yourself in the name of your young toddler, also punch yourself in the face.

Go ahead. I'll wait.

Whatever. The kids looked adorable. Husband brought Bug back to me after just our street and then took Bear through the entire subdivision, hitting every house. We decided that we're going to let Bear pick out a certain amount of candy and then "sell" us the rest in exchange for extra technology time. Then we'll donate (most of) it.

Here are the kiddos in costume.

Katniss and Haymitch


  1. I've lived where I live now since 2001, and in that time, I think I might have had two knocks. I see kids occasionally walking through the neighborhood, but they never stop by.

  2. They're terrified of you. Obviously.

  3. Come on - you gotta love Halloween - just a little bit? What other time do adults and children alike talk to strangers, dress up and mock the ghosts and ghouls?