"F***in' Chuck Norris."
I feel like I've been a little bit too positive lately, so it seems like a good time for a fresh installment of Things I Don't Care For.
Adults and the word "yummy"
What makes this one even worse is that I do it, too. But I'm self-aware enough to hate myself for it. When did "yummy" become a word that grown-ups use in a non-ironic way or when talking to each other as opposed to their children? It sounds ridiculous.
I blame Rachael Ray. I don't think this was a phenomenon before that bubbly bitch came along and started dumbing everyone down with her thirty-minute meals and her sunshine farts.
Toothpaste on my boob
You know what I'm talking about, ladies. It goes right along with "deodorant on my black tank top" and "spaghetti sauce on that belly roll I keep tucking in to my waistband".
Non-napping children during naptime
Because regardless of what I say before I go into my darkened room to put Bug down for his nap, Bear WILL want/need something the second the baby gets drowsy. It never, ever fails. Even locking the door is pointless because SHE WILL KNOCK.
Magic fabric-of-space-and-time-ripping coffee grounds
You know—the ones that somehow manage to get into your mug, regardless of how impossible it seems. They give me The Anger in a major way.
Especially by sites that don't really need to do it, like Amazon. I try to search on Swagbucks everyday to earn my points, and usually I just plug in random shit to see what happens. One time this happened:
|Click to enlarge|
Okay, so maybe keyword whoring has its place. I won't pretend I didn't snort at that one.