Monday, March 19, 2012

Things I Don't Care For

"Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo! Boooooo!"

Oh, look. Jen's being a Negative Nellie. Again. What a grouch.

Yup. Love it or leave it. I run on about six hours of sleep and maybe a slice of peanut butter toast on a good day. So until my son can wipe his own ass, this is the Jen you get. *buuuurp*

So here is a list of things I don't care for. I think many of you will agree, and many more will disagree.*

In no particular order, except numerical:

1.) Spelling C words with K's

Kiddies do not belong in Korners, and there's no such thing as a Kountry Kitchen or Kountry Kraft. Why would you mess with the natural alliteration of Country Crafts, anyway? It's already perfect!

But because I hate it so much, I do it all the time in an ironic way, because I'm so witty and above it all. I once joked to my friend LeeAnne, whom I hope will do a guest post here sometime, about my hatred for Krafts, and she said she used to own a business called Kool Krafts (false). I nearly spit out my sweet tea.

2.) Speaking of K's, Kardashians, in general

I have literally never seen a single episode of any of their 17 shows, but because I have internet access and eyeballs, I still somehow know everything that's going on in their lives. I know that Kim dumped Chris because his name started with the right sound, wrong letter; I know that Khloe and Lamar moved to Dallas so he could become a professional ranch hand; I know that Kourtney is expecting another baby with that douchey guy who wears the robe all the time. No, not that one. He only likes blondes. The other one. Scott Dipshit, or something.

3.) Excessive use of ellipses...

...and the smart-ass comments bursting with them that are sure to follow. Look, ellipses have their place! I love an appropriately placed ellipsis! I do not like when they are used in place of all other punctuation! I'm using a lot of exclamation points here!

4.) Swedish Fish

I know they have a following, but they gag me. I won't stand for them.

5.) A ringing phone right when my baby falls asleep


*How many people do I think read this Krap? Seriously?


  1. LOL!! We hate all the same things. I love you.

  2. Jen, Every time I use an ellipses on Facebook (really, every time....which is, what, at least five times a day?), I wonder if it'll be the straw that breaks the camel's back, driving YOU to unfriend me! What can I say? I like to mentally pause visibly... Thanks for being a tolerant soul. <3 ~S

  3. Love you too, sugar tits. I didn't know you had a blog, either! I'll link it in my blogroll so that all six of my eventual readers will see it, too.

  4. Kan I start calling you Kalamity Jen? I think it has a ring to it. It kould be your new rapper name, even...

    I kan't remember what else I was going to say. :(

  5. I'm always trying to be all positive and shit on my blog so I do these thankful posts, but now I feel a great need to do a "stuff I hate" post as well. It seems empowering. And for the record, my grandmother was born Swedish, I was raised a Swede, and I despise Swedish Fish. They are like stale gummies that taste like oversweet Kool-aide. Another K word.