Thursday, April 26, 2012

Unsolicited Pregnancy Advice

 "Is this a kissing book?"

No. No, I'm not. Not even an off chance.

But because my baby brother, Superman, and his lady, Lois, are expecting, I thought it would be fun to talk about all the obnoxious, unsolicited, and unwanted pregnancy and parenting advice we've all had to endure.

One of my favorite examples, and the one I shared with Lois the other day as a joke, is the famous, "OMG, don't change cat litter!" freakout. It usually comes from a well-meaning teenager who babysat her little cousin last summer and had to change the cat litter because her pregnant aunt "could have, like, died!" It's not that the whole avoiding-cat-litter thing isn't true; it's just that it's literally one of the first things a pregnant woman hears from EVERYONE—whether she has a friggin' cat or not.

What were/are you sick to death of hearing from unwelcome advisers? It doesn't matter if the advice is based in fact or fiction, disproven or commonly believed. What made/makes you want to slap a well-meaning bitch?


  1. "It's better to lay on your left side. Just don't lay on your right side at all. Ever. If you lay on your right side, TERRIBLE THINGS WILL HAPPEN." <-- this thought ran through my brain every night as I tried to go to sleep wedged against the wall so I wouldn't accidentally flip over the wrong way in the night. I never slept.

    "Get your sleep NOW because when that baby comes..." This is just obvious bullshit because sleep doesn't work that way. You can't just save it up in a barrel for later distribution. The baby is going to eff up your sleep no matter how much you sleep now. Sleep now because you are insanely tired because you are growing a person inside of your body, but not for "later".

    Contradictory food advice. I'm thinking we'd all be better off sticking with plain water and organic saltines throughout.

  2. Good ones! Also, "Are you taking prenatal vitamins?"