Friday, April 27, 2012

Perception and the Like

 "You ARE the Brute Squad."

The question was raised by a trusted acquaintance of mine whether referring to my daughter as "Spazz" or "Spazzy" is inline with my anti-bullying stance. It's a fair question, because I know it came from a place of genuine concern and was not an attempt to "call me out" or "get me". Not to mention that once you put your life out here on the interwebs, you open yourself up for inquiry and even criticism, and if the comments or questions are reasonable and presented with logic and care, I think it's important to talk about them.

Let me give you backstory as to why I chose Spazz for my daughter's internet nickname.

My girl has ADHD, which I know many people are skeptical of and that's fine. The ADHD thing is a whole other blog post, so I don't want to go off course about it here. Anyway, her naturally dramatic personality sort of goes into overdrive when she's feeling really unfocused and out of control. Once when she was trying to describe to me how it felt, she said that sometimes her "brain feels like it just has to spazz out!"

So since then, we sometimes refer to her brain's overloading as "spazzing out". When I first nicknamed her here, I don't remember why that term came to mind. Maybe we'd been having a rough morning, perhaps it was on my mind for other reasons, but it came to me and because I have never thought of it in terms of cruelty or as an insult, it just stuck. It's not a real-life nickname we have for her, as she already has about fifty-seven of those. But I just went with it here. And I never gave it a second thought.

However, even though I know that my intentions have never come from anywhere other than a place of love and respect, I also know that perception often overshadows reality. And it's hard to make a point if people are confused about your credibility. I don't want to be seen as a hypocrite, especially when my intentions are so opposite that perception.

I thank my acquaintance for pointing out the disparity for me, and for giving me the benefit of the doubt rather than assuming that I am being unkind to my daughter. It was an excellent point, and I would hate for anyone to walk away from here thinking that I look down on my kids or see them as lesser than myself somehow. No way. My kids rock so much harder than I ever have, and I am basically awesomesauce on a juicy steak. So that's, you know, saying something.

So henceforth, the Girl Formerly Known as Spazzy shall be called Bear (from a real-life nickname) and her sweet baby brother will be called Bug (also from a real-life nickname).  Thanks for reading my drivel, and for allowing me to be human.