This Wall

I have to paint over this wall in a few days, and as much as I've emotionally detached myself from this, our first home, I admit I'm gutted about it. It's the most beautiful design choice in our home, and even though I've already transferred the measurements to a sheet of paper that we can take with us and recreate on a new wall...it's not this wall. This wall, in this house, which is the only home either of my babies have ever known.

When people start checking out this house, commenting on the cabinets and the counter space and the size of the bedrooms and the lack of granite, walk-in closets, and/or man caves, they will walk right past this wall. It won't register in their minds as being significant in any way. They won't have an image of my four year-old daughter trying to sneak and pop up on her toes to make herself appear taller, giggling at her own cleverness. They won't see me gently holding my one year-old son's heels against the baseboard as I take his very first wall measurement. They won't see me wrapping my arms around Bear and begging her to please, please just stop growing up.

And they shouldn't. Because to them, this is not our home. This is a house that they might want to make into their home. Once we take our things and lock that door for the last time, the life we've built here goes with us. And so do the beautiful children whose sweet, perfect heads pressed against that wall every three months for seven years.

But I'm still going to cry.

One Step Closer to Making it a Reality

Two weeks ago we had a realtor out to the house to help us get the ball rolling. I know that last year our plan was to try to sell by owner, but I'm too intimidated by the legal side of the deal-making and we decided to call the realtor who helped Husband's parents and sister through multiple real estate transactions. She's been in the business for a long time, and as a bonus she happens to live in a neighborhood very close to ours, so she knows the local market very well.

Anyway, we busted out our Honey-Do List From Hell and talked about all the necessary repairs and updates, prioritizing them with her advice.

We also had a trim painting party on 2/23. I offered food and alcohol to anyone who could hold a paintbrush. My uncle and a friend were the only ones who made it out, but they saved me a good four hours of solo work and we managed to get almost all of the trim I had planned to paint that day finished. And a bunch of my other friends have offered to come out and help at other times, so I may hold another painting party in a few weeks. There is still a good amount of trim and almost every wall in the house, so...yeah. Good times.

Before...and after. Say it with me: "Ooooooh...aaaaaaaah!"

Our plan at the moment is to continue knocking out the small projects over the next few weeks, and then Husband is taking a week off work to dedicate to the bigger projects, finishing up the small stuff, and getting the house packed, staged, and ready to put on the market! Our goal is to list the house by May 1st. I'd like to do it by April 1st.

I feel optimistic. I've done ridiculous amounts of research over the past year and I am not a person who often acts impulsively. Understand, I am not saying I am not an impulsive person; on the contrary, my natural inclination is to "act now, think later!" But years of experience with the consequences of such a tendency have led me to slow myself down. With a lot of practice under my belt, I am now pretty good at spotting the train and getting out of the way in time.

I digress, but the point is that I feel prepared. I feel overwhelmed, but I feel ready. I know I've done my diligence, Husband feels good about our plans, and we're ready to get on with our lives and build our dream home. I can almost smell the morning air tickling my nose on our ten acres of solitude. I can just about feel the heat of the bonfires on my cheeks. I can envision it perfectly, Husband and I sitting out on our deck and watching a deer steal a crab apple from one of our trees. Then there's a loud crash from inside and we realize we're the parents of young children and we rush back into our (gorgeous, custom) house to find Bug feeding dirt from a broken planter to Ella.

Our dream house (source)

It's going to be glorious. And we're so, so close. Two years from this moment, I could be preparing to move into our new home. Two years ago I was four months pregnant with Bug and halfway through my last semester of college. That time has flown and I know this time will, too.

It's right in front of me. It's Y, and X is happening all over the place. And I am so, so ready.

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins

I'm not big on breakfast. Don't get me wrong—I love breakfast foods. Pancakes, bacon, French toast, bacon, waffles, bacon, hashbrowns, bacon...I love breakfast. I'm just not big on eating it when I get up. I'm not usually super hungry in the morning, I'm tired and don't want to prepare something for myself in addition to whatever I'm making for Bug, and I just want to begin my coffee infusion so I can start thinking and doing and whatnot. Even making a bowl of cereal and eating it seems like a colossal effort.

However, I also think it's important to model at least somewhat good health habits for my kids and eating breakfast is part of that. So I like to keep simple, grab-and-go breakfast options on hand. I like things that go well with my coffee and that I can easily share with Bug if he's not in the mood to sit and eat his own food. I almost always have bananas in the house because we both like them, and I also like to bake muffins once every couple of weeks.

Usually I make these pumpkin chocolate chip muffins that I found on Pinterest. I love them. They're delicious and the recipe is perfect. But the other day I got to thinking: would it work if I used a cup of mashed bananas in place of the pumpkin?

The answer to that is yes. Yes, it does. And it's effing delicious. I think I actually prefer it to the pumpkin, and I LOVE pumpkin.

When you photograph muffins you have to tip one on its side. It's the internet's rule, not mine.

I kept all the spices and everything the same, just to see how it would turn out, and it worked great. I might actually cut down some of the spices next time just to let the banana flavor come through a bit more, but they are wonderful just as they are. I also might do half white/half brown sugar next time, just to see what happens. I always dump in about an extra 1/4 cup of chocolate chips and I love it in the pumpkin, but I don't think these need it. I might actually use less than a cup next time.

Mmm...chocolate...

I baked mine for twenty-three minutes (they were still gooey inside at nineteen) and they're perfect. The recipe makes one dozen, which will last me about a week, as I will eat two most days. Breakfast AND dessert!

Toddler Color Matching

I am NOT a tips/advice/idea/how-to/parenting blog, but I wanted to post this game I made for Bug because it's really cute and it's very easy and inexpensive. I've seen tons of egg carton color matching games for toddlers, so when I emptied our carton I decided to make one for my Bug.

He's really terrible at color matching right now. I am totally judging him.

It was really easy. I just used our washable paints to color code the bottoms. I was going to get plastic eggs, but they were actually pretty expensive on Amazon (to get all the colors, anyway), so I bought these adorable wooden ones and painted them with my acrylic paints. I need to seal them with beeswax or something, as the paint rubs and scratches off a bit, but the eggs work just fine for now.

I like this because we can also use pieces of felt, pom-poms, and a variety of other colored items over time.

Bug REALLY loves playing with this. I keep it put up and use it when I need him engaged in something. He likes to either throw all the eggs (mostly...) or take them out one by one, put them in a bag, and then take them back to the carton one by one. It is his way.

My little Bug and his eggs

These eggs hurt like hell when they hit you in the head. Jussayin'. But the game is cute and I'm really happy with it.

The Honey-Do List to Shame All Honey-Do Lists

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Last weekend Husband was off work, so after spending Saturday relaxing, eating leftovers, and resting, we decided to make Sunday a bit more productive.

So we made The List.

The List is a space-by-space, detailed, no-holds-barred collection of all the projects that could possibly need to be done to our house before we can list it. The only thing we left off was the decluttering and packing, as those are ongoing and don't cost us money.

We started in the front yard and moved systematically through every room and space, noting every possible repair or update we could think of, even if we knew it was something we weren't going to get to. Then we sat down with our list and went item by item, highlighting the items that literally MUST be done in order to even consider listing the house, and then ranking the rest by priority.

It is many pages long. Many, many pages. 

It was overwhelming, so when we finished I took Bug up for a nap and let my poor, intimidated husband put his feet up and watch some tv. You know—before he has to move that giant tv and paint behind it or something.

Husband is on spring break from school the week of March 11, so he's taking off work and we're going to use that week to tackle some of the major stuff that needs done. In the meantime I am continuing to pack and we're going to try to knock out some of the one-off, smaller projects so that we don't have to mess with them during his week off.

I'm not going to say I'm not incredibly overwhelmed and intimidated, but the time has come. We want to sell this house and move on with our lives, and it's worth it to bust ass for a few months so we can get on with our life.

Things Which I am OVER

Grumpy Cat Jen is ready to see a few things disappear from our society's collective consciousness. 

Mustaches

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W. T. F., people. What IS this? Why are there effing mustaches on EVERYTHING all of a sudden? Why am I seeing children's socks with mustaches on them? Why is this a Thing? I'm putting my (un-mustachioed) foot down on this. No more. I do not want t eat a cake in the shape of a mustache because for some reason facial hair is the party theme. NO. NO.


Fail

Yeah, we get it. The fat kid fell off the skateboard. The word 'education' was misspelled on a school newsletter. That guy in front of the coconut tree looks like he has hairy balls on his head. There are entire (often funny!) blogs devoted to this stuff. But the time of 'FAIL!' has passed.

And along those same lines, can we discuss...


 'Epic' anything

It had its time. For a brief period, 'epic' seemed to be a fresh, untapped, hyperbolic adjective that we could finally move in to replace 'amazing' and 'awesome'. But it's run its course. Your night of beer pong and passing out on the toilet was not 'epic'. It wasn't even an epic fail. It was just sad and I am judging you for it.


Clever, genius, best-ever Pinterest pins...

...and anything that says, "One pinner said..." or, "I'll be glad I pinned this someday!"If you're on Pinterest then you know what I'm talking about. People pin crap leading back to their own blogs to drive traffic and give it some big description about how life-changing it is and it goes PinViral. My natural, internal rebel wants nothing to do with this force-fed BS.
 

Homeschool moms who...

...refer to their husband as the "principal". Um...no. I don't effing think so.


What else? What needs to GO, forever? Feel free to tack on.

Valentine's Day is Dumb But Fun

Husband and I don't really "get into" Valentine's Day, mostly because it feels sort of dirty. It's just such a sleazy, 100% commercial holiday that playing along makes me feel gross.

That said, we have kids, and kids love Special Days. So while we might do a little something small and slightly romantic for each other, we prefer to focus any Valentine energy on our itty bitties. We always have some kind of gift and activity or fun meal for them on Valentine's Day.

In lieu of something store-bought, I made them these adorable owl softies following this excellent, simple tutorial from Organize and Decorate Everything. This is a wonderful project for a beginner, so if you're looking for some simple handmade gift ideas but aren't great on your machine, these are perfect.

The kids with the stuffed owls that I made them FOR REAL BY MYSELF LIKE A GROWN-UP!

Bug with his owl. *swoon*

Husband had to work during the day, so we had our good friend Cincy Sarah and her totally awesome boys come over to make and decorate marshmallow lollipops and sugar cookies with us. We set the kids up with melted chocolate, sprinkles, colored frosting, and a few spoons and let them go to town.

So...many...sprinkles...

Cincy Sarah brought these cute heart-shaped marshmallows.

Then we loaded up most of the goodies and took them a half mile up the road to the local fire house. And it was SO COOL. The fire fighters could not have been kinder or more welcoming. I called a few weeks ago just to see what the protocol was, and there really isn't one. You just show up, ring the bell, and you can come in and check the place out. After the kids handed over the treats, the fire fighters took them to the garage and let them climb up in the truck and the ambulance. They were very accommodating in helping our kids in and out and were totally relaxed about having them there.

Goodies!

The kiddos, checking out the fire truck. Bear may have been wearing that same outfit for two days. Oops.

After our little tour, Cincy Sarah and I took the kids to lunch before heading home. Bear and I decided that Husband should have a piece of cheesecake since he had to work while we were having fun, so that was our little V-Day gift to him. And when he came home he had a dark chocolate candy bar and a bottle of wine for me. So I guess we gave in a tiny bit, but I'm not going to feel guilty when I'm killing that wine this weekend.

I think I'm going to make going out into the community and spreading a little goodness a new Valentine's Day tradition for our family. I like the idea of turning this incredibly cheesy, tacky, commercially-driven day into something lovely. Not that indulging in the romantic side of it has to be cheesy, of course. But you all know what I mean. If not, ask me and I'll try to find my words a bit better. Maybe don't ask while I'm drinking the wine.